I am sure you’ve heard it before, as I have many times, that children learn from what is modeled to them. Have your children ever come home from playing with other friends and suddenly they have picked up traits (both the good and the bad) that they saw others doing?
Since we are around our kids the most, isn’t it obvious that they learn how to behave from us?
Now of course it’s hard to model perfect behaviour 24/7… if you have tips on doing just that then please let us know!
So us as parents / caregivers who are trying our best are going to make mistakes. We are going to lose our cool and overreact, we are going to get tired and grumpy and generally be in a funk.
Yesterday, I was tired. We had a busy day the day before and all I wanted to do was relax, but there was housework long over neglected, kids who were tired and grumpy, my mind telling me of all the ways I was failing and I stood there trying to fold laundry. One kid was yelling my name over and over while the other was banging a block on the floor. All I could think about was getting this job done ASAP
… BANG… BANG….. BANNNNNNNNGGGGG
And here is where I wish I was able to say that I took a deep breath and smiled and said “yes, darling?” and gently directed my children to a quiet activity.
Instead, I snapped and said “Can you both STOP?!”
Instantly, I felt guilty. They didn’t deserve that. I overreacted because I was in a bad mood. Now I can deal with this in one of two ways:
A) Let it go and move on. Think “I am the parent, they need to respect me and do as I say”,
B) sit the kids down. Say sorry and explain how I was feeling and that it wasn’t their fault.
I went with option B. I also added in there that next time I feel like that, I am going to go and get some fresh air.
If I want my kids to apologise to others when necessary then I need to model that behaviour?